what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

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oooh look a banshee

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Illumati Confirmed

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Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

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You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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