What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

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Black guys shoot. White guys have small penises. Black guys steal. White guys have keep money. Black guys are broke. That's what she said.

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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doctor , doctor , i feel depressed , we will start you on a course of anti-depressents , vitimins , and daily exercise, make a appointment for next week , and i will referrer you to a phycatrist

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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You will not press the like button.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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