Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

I'm hungry.

where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

Yock

Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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