When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

1. Why did sally fall of the swing? -because she had no arms. 2.Knock Knock -Who's there? Not sally.

Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

Justin Bieber

Roses are Red Violets are Gay This poem makes no sense Octopus

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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