A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

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A Sloth runs...

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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The EPA.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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I saw my friend stabbing a girl. i asked what is he doing "Oh im just killing time" turns out the girls name is Time Demson. What a weird name i thought to myself.

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops