What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Once upon a time there was man named Bob. He liked bacon. So he ate some. And he like it. So he got some more and ate it. Then he went an played THE GAME.

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A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

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A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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