You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

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A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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Why did the blonde switch the lamp on? Because it was getting dark

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A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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