Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Whats smarter you or the person writing this? -The answer is that i said whats smarter not whose smarter so I am smarter because you had no clue this was point less pie

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What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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I drive a 'rarri

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

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When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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