Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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So you there Red?

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Where is my tractor?

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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boobs

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The Olympics

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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