knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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Guess what? I like trains.

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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