A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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What happens, when you give a blonde a Computer? She uses it like any other person because her haircolor has nothing to do with her Intelligence

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

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hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

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Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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