Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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This comment has been removed for too many average votes.

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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