roses are red. violets are violet...

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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The black man leaves the strip club.

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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