Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +7

i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock get lost!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops