How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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The guy above me has a very nice joke

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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jwe

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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