What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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You know what's the least funniest part about cancer? I am about to die in about a month or so.

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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Jews

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

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what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops