What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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children burning

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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