A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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