why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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An Asian man fails a math test

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Mitt Romney

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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