How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

HI MY NAME IS DOUG

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

thumb_up thumb_down -1

John and Henk are walking down the street. John kills a man, the cops are coming and John runs away. Why didn't Henk ran away? Henk was a rock

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did michael jackson write black or white he didnt want black people to copy him

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's funnier than hell? heaven

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -3

QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops