How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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baby seal walks into a club

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A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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