My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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Which is longer? A rope...

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops