What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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A man... walks.

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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Yo mama's so fat that she pushed you off your computer and you couldnt write anymore "yo Mama" jokes.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

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Ian From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia This article is about a given name. For other uses, see Ian (disambiguation). Ian Gender Male (rarely Female: some similar names can be) Origin Word/name Hebrew (via Scottish Gaelic) Meaning gift of god, god's gift Other names Related names John (masculine version of Jane: Hebrew for Siobhan), Ivan, Evian, Iana, Seonaidh Look up Ian in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. "Ian", "Iain"(/?i?.?n/; Scottish Gaelic pronunciation: [????n]) is a name of Gaelic origin, corresponding to English/Hebrew John. It is a very popular name in much of the English-speaking world and especially in Scotland, where it originated. Ian was the 19th most popular male name, taking account of the whole British population (over 300,000 Ians in total).[citation needed] The name has now fallen out of the top 100 male baby names in the UK, having peaked in popularity as one of the top 10 names throughout the 1960s,[1] while remaining roughly constant in popularity in the USA. Back in 1900, Ian was the 180th most popular male baby name in England and Wales.[2] The original form of the name 'Eóin' originated in the Irish language. Ian is an anglicisation of the Scottish Gaelic version of the name, 'Iain'. Popularity of the name 'Ian' in the USA Year Rank 2013 80 2012 78 2011 72 2010 72 2009 72 2008 80 2007 74 2006 80 2005 67 2004 69 2003 65 2002 67 2001 70 2000 73 Note: Rank 1 is the most popular, rank 2 is the next most popular, and so forth. Name data are from Social Security card applications for births that occurred in the United States. Source: Social Security Administration. See http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames Other Gaelic forms of "John" include "Seonaidh" ("Johnny" from Lowland Scots), "Seon" (from English), "Seathan", and "Seán" and "Eoin" (from Irish). Its Welsh counterpart is Ioan and Breton equivalent is Yann. Contents [hide] 1 Notable Ians 1.1 As a first name (alphabetical by family name) 1.2 As a middle name 1.3 As a surname 2 Notable Iains 3 Fictional Iains 4 Fictional Ians 5 References 6 See also Notable Ians[edit] As a first name (alphabetical by family name)[edit] Ian Anderson – lead of rock band Jethro Tull Ian Astbury – singer of rock band The Cult Ian Bairnson – guitarist of The Alan Parsons Project and Pilot Ian Baker-Finch – golfer and 1991 British Open winner Ian Bannen – British actor Ian Willoughby Bazalgette – recipient of the Victoria Cross Ian Bell – English cricketer Ian Berry (disambiguation) Sir Ian Blair – former Head of the Metropolitan Police Service Ian Black (disambiguation) Sir Ian Botham – cricketer Ian Bolton – English footballer Ian Brady – Moors murderer Ian Bremmer – political scientist, author, entrepreneur Ian Broudie – singer in The Lightning Seeds, and music producer Ian Brown – singer and lyricist in The Stone Roses Ian Callaghan – Liverpool footballer with the most appearances Ian Callum – Design director for Jaguar Ian Carmichael – OBE, actor Ian Cashmore – broadcaster/presenter and paranormal investigator Ian Chappell – Former Australian cricketer Ian Charleson – Scottish/British actor Ian Clark (disambiguation) Ian Clyde – boxer Ian Collier – singer and actor Ian Cooper (disambiguation) Ian James Corlett – cartoon writer and voice actor Ian Crocker – swimmer Ian Curtis – singer and lyricist in Joy Division Ian Davis (disambiguation) Ian Desmond – Major League Baseball shortstop Ian Dury – singer and songwriter Ian Eagle – American sports announcer Ian Edmond – swimmer Ian Ferguson (disambiguation) Ian Flanagan – tennis player Ian Fleming – Novelist, creator of James Bond Ian Froman – South African-born Israeli tennis player and tennis patron Ian Frazier – writer and humorist Ian Gibson (disambiguation) Ian Gillan – lead singer of hard rock band Deep Purple Ian Gold – former American football player Ian Gomm – British guitarist and singer Ian Grist – British politician Ian Hallard - actor Ian Hamilton (disambiguation) Ian Harding – actor Ian Hart – actor Ian Haugland – Drummer for the band Europe Ian Healy – Former Australian Wicket-Keeper Ian Hecox – comedian with Smosh Ian Henderson (Britain) – former head of secret police in Bahrain, accused of torture Ian Henderson (ABC) – Australian news presenter Ian Henderson (football) – current Norwich City F.C. player in the FA Premier League Ian Henderson (rugby league) – Scottish rugby hooker who plays in Australia Ian Hicks (disambiguation) Ian Hill – Bassist for metal band Judas Priest Ian Hislop – Satirist and editor of Private Eye Ian Holm (born 1931) – British actor Ian Hornak – painter Ian Hunter – singer of Mott the Hoople Ian Huntley – double murderer Ian James – Olympic athlete Ian Joyce – American soccer player Ian Kennedy – Major League Baseball pitcher Ian Kershaw – historian Ian Kinsler – Major League Baseball second baseman Ian "Lemmy" Kilmister – singer/bass player in Motörhead Ian Krankie – entertainer Ian Lambert – educator Ian Laperrière – hockey player Ian Lavender – actor Ian Law – Australian footballer Ian Oswald Liddell – recipient of the Victoria Cross Ian Livingstone – author Ian Lorimer – television director Ian Lucas – politician Ian MacArthur – politician Ian MacDonald - author Ian MacKaye – musician Ian Mahinmi – basketball player Ian Martin (disambiguation) Ian Matthews – member of Fairport Convention and notable solo musician, reverted in 1989 to Iain Matthews Ian Matthews – drummer for Kasabian Ian Maxtone-Graham – television writer and producer Ian McCaskill – weather forecaster Ian McConville – webcomic artist of Mac Hall and Three Panel Soul Ian McCulloch – actor Ian McCulloch – singer in the band Echo & the Bunnymen Ian McCulloch – snooker player Ian McDiarmid – actor Ian McDonald – British musician, best known for being a member of both King Crimson and Foreigner Ian McEwan – novelist Ian John McKay – recipient of the Victoria Cross Sir Ian McKellen (born 1939) – actor Ian McLagan – English musician, best known for being a member of both Small Faces and Faces Ian McMillan – poet Ian McMillan – Scottish footballer Ian McShane – actor Ian Messiter – creator of Just a Minute Ian Moran – hockey player Ian Morris – Irish professional footballer Ian Morrison (disambiguation) Ian Morton - English cricketer Ian Mosley – drummer for Marillion Ian Murdock – computer professional, creator of the Debian project Ian O'Brien – swimmer Ian O'Reilly, Irish actor Ian Paice – drummer of Deep Purple Ian Paisley – Protestant politician Ian Patterson – English footballer Ian Peck – English cricketer Ian Pooley – German DJ Ian Poulter – English professional golfer Ian Punnett - American radio broadcaster and priest Ian Rankin – Scottish novelist Ian Reed – Australian discus thrower Ian Reid (disambiguation) Ian Richards – British race walker Ian Richardson – Scottish actor Ian Robinson (disambiguation) Ian Ross (disambiguation) Ian Rush – Welsh international footballer Ian Sanders - cricketer for Edinburgh, Scotland Ian Sangalang - Filipino professional basketball player Ian Scheckter – former South African F1 driver. He is brother of Jody Scheckter and uncle of Tomas Scheckter. Ian Scott (disambiguation) Ian Smith (disambiguation) Ian Smith – ex Rhodesian Prime Minister Ian Snell – Major League Baseball pitcher Ian Somerhalder – actor Ian Stanley – British musician Ian Stewart (disambiguation) Ian Stone – comedian Ian Stuart Donaldson – vocalist and frontman of controversial British band Skrewdriver Ian Svenonius – American musician Ian Thornley – Canadian musician Ian Thorpe – Australian swimmer Ian Thomson (disambiguation) Ian "Sam" Totman – British guitarist Ian Van Dahl – Belgian artist Ian Walker – British sailor Ian Waltz – American discus thrower Ian Watkins (born 1977), former lead singer of the alternative metal band Lostprophets, and convicted pedophile. Ian H Watkins (born 1976), British pop singer and actor, former member of Steps Ian Weatherhead – English watercolor artist Ian West (disambiguation) Ian Wilmut – English embryologist, best known for cloning Dolly the sheep Ian Wilson (disambiguation) Ian Wood (disambiguation) Ian Woosnam – Welsh golfer Ian Wright – footballer Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa – Birth name of musician Dweezil Zappa Ian Ziering – actor As a middle name[edit] Michael Ian Black – (often credited by his full name), American comedian Thomas Ian Nicholas – Actor and singer As a surname[edit] Janis Ian – singer and songwriter Scott Ian – stage name of Scott Ian Rosenfeld, guitarist with the metal band Anthrax Notable Iains[edit] Iain Archer – Northern Irish Singer-songwriter musician Iain Balshaw – MBE, English rugby player Iain Banks – Scottish writer Iain Black – British Columbia politician Iain De Caestecker – Scottish actor Iain Dowie – Northern Irish football manager Iain Durrant – Scottish footballer Iain Evans – South African field hockey player Iain Glen – Scottish actor, noted for his role in TV's Game of Thrones Iain Gray – Leader of Labour in the Scottish Parliament Iain Harnden – Zimbabwean hurdler Iain Lee – British comedian, TV presenter and radio presenter Iain Macleod – British politician Iain Macmillan – Scottish photographer, noted for his image of the Beatles walking across Abbey Road Iain David McGeachy – John Martyn, British singer-songwriter and guitarist Iain Paxton – Scottish rugby player Iain Smith – Scottish politician Iain Duncan Smith – Leader of the Conservative Party, 2001–2003 Iain Softley – film director Iain Stirling – TV presenter and comedian Iain Stewart (disambiguation) Iain Sydie – Canadian badminton player The Very Revd Iain Torrance – President of Princeton Theological Seminary and former Moderator of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland Fictional Iains[edit] Iain Sterling, a fictional character in the Android: Netrunner universe Fictional Ians[edit] Ian Hawke – the main antagonist in the Alvin and the Chipmunks movies Ian the Deer – Elliot's arch-rival in the Open Season movies Ian Beale – from the TV soap opera EastEnders Ian Chesterton – from the TV series Doctor Who Ian Slater – from the ABC soap opera All My Children Ian Craig – from the radio soap opera The Archers Ian Edgerton – FBI agent and sniper from the show Numb3rs Ian Gallagher – one of the main characters in the television drama, Shameless Ian Hainsworth - Susan Delfino's boyfriend in 3rd season of Desperate Housewives Ian Howe – an antagonist in National Treasure Ian Kabra – antagonist of The 39 Clues book series Ian Kelley – from the TV series Being Ian Ian Lewis and Ian Ketterman (together with dozens of other Ians) – characters created by Lee and Herring; the duo used 'Ian' as their de facto comedy name, in such sketches as the Ian News Ian – from Leprechaun 2 Ian Malcolm – from Michael Crichton's novel Jurassic Park Ian (MÄR) – a recurring character in the manga and anime series MÄR Ian Maxtone-Graham – from the TV series Suddenly Susan Professor Ian McClaine – adoptive father of Joe 90 Ian McKenzie – the liberal attorney from the novel and the film A Dry White Season Ian McKinley – from the movie Final Destination 3 Ian Miller – from the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding Ian Murray- The Nephew of Jamie Fraser in Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series Ian O'Shea – from Stephenie Meyer's novel, The Host Ian Randall – from the 'Dichotic' episode of Smallville, a character who had the ability to duplicate himself Ian Raymond – Laura's boyfriend in the novel and film, High Fidelity Ian Schulenburg – Unseen husband of Harriet Schulenburg in Green Wing Ian Rider – From the Alex Rider books Ian Scuffling – Tyrone Slothrup's adopted name after he goes into hiding in Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow Ian Thomas - Ryan Merriman's character in the TV series Pretty Little Liars. Ian – from Shane Jiraiya Cummings' short story, "Ian". Every male character who the protagonist meets is called Ian Ian – from Sarah Kane's play, Blasted References[edit] Jump up ^ "Name: Ian". BabyNames.co.uk. Baby Names UK. Retrieved 2015-01-01. Jump up ^ "Top 200 Most Popular Names in England and Wales in 1900". British Baby Names. 21 August 2012. Retrieved 2015-01-01. See also[edit] John (given name) Eoin Ioan (disambiguation) IANS (disambiguation) Categories: Scottish masculine given namesGiven namesEnglish masculine given namesMasculine given names Navigation menu Create accountLog inArticleTalkReadEditView history Main page Contents Featured content Current events Random article Donate to Wikipedia Wikipedia store Interaction Help About Wikipedia Community portal Recent changes Contact page Tools What links here Related changes Upload file Special pages Permanent link Page information Wikidata item Cite this page Print/export Create a book Download as PDF Printable version Languages Deutsch Suomi Svenska Edit links This page was last modified on 10 April 2015, at 09:48. Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License; additional terms may apply. By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Wikipedia® is a registered trademark of the Wikimedia Foundation, Inc., a non-profit organization.

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What happens when a black man is alone the KKK appears

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When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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After six days in prison, and the eight hours in court straight they finally randomly decided that I "acted in self defense" which I did, so I demanded recompensation for they locking me up and wasting my time... ...And hell if I did not get 12.000USD for it, not before they called me disrespectful and immoral, before I shut them the fuck up... ...""Earning" your respect wont pay my bills, while I am apparently the only one with balls here, what else can you say when you everybody else shuts the fuck up and sits down because the "alpha male" of your pack, yes you a grotesquely fat ass in a black dress and a gray womans wig smacks his little hammer on his desk... Judge my ass" Speaking of morals... "It is called sacrasm furfags" Nero: Did I mention that her boyfriend broke four fingers on his hand against my chest (supposedly it was a punch of some sort), then he countered my attack(?), as he skillfuly blocked both kicks with his face, as he fell down cried and pissed himself like the 52 year old "adult" he is? Then I broke both his knees with my heels and told him I would kill him too if he told the cops that I did so in self defense... In self defense of course... Drugs told my mother I was Satan, and that I would end up killing her the very day I was born... Little did I know back then, that whatever kind of angel dust she used then was right about me killing her... Now its her turn to climb up from the hell she sent me trough, except that I locked the gate at the end. I miss my real arm though, which she chopped right off me when I was six and offered it to God as tribute, then proceeded to beat the shit out of me with it it... That kinda felt nice compared to waterboarding and all the other shit she did to me, as for my father... Tried to break my neck because I was at my room studying when he caught me scratching my prosphetic arm which was a sin apparently, yes reader I literally killed my father too and you dont hear me whining about it. Nero: I had a custom prosphetic arm made, it wont pick up or hold shit, you can in fact crush your own fathers skull with a fist literally made of steel, even if you still cant believe its not real butter. Solvemedia: Politically correct, thumbs the fucks ups for the irony... Or the steel which I used in pure fear as my neck snapped and my legs went numb... Just a literal pain in the neck for the rest of my life though, and a nice memory...

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is black.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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