Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

captcha: all yer base

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your Mom!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Health food.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

In soviet russia, roses are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops