Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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Knock knock who's there I killed your family

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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honest politician

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

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She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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