why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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learn the ropes?

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Dear Chase. You are retarded Your jokes suck Violets are red jump off a bridge

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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