I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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