- Anti Joke

"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

What's circular and round A circle

There was a black man and a mexican woman at a bar. The women says, "Why are all racial jokes about men?" The black man replies, "Because it is believed by some that males are superior to women." The woman went to go order a book from amazon.

How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? They don't ACTUALLY eat or throw wood. Instead, they eat grasses and insects and pretty much everything else at ground level they can get their hands on. But they can, apparently, CHEW wood, and that's where the idea for this study came in. The authors decided to use the word "chuck" to mean "chew" (I suppose because upchucking is the opposite?), and wanted to see how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. They obtained 12 woodchucks (by "various means" that are not described, I picture some middle aged guy in a suit trying to stalk one), and food deprived them to ensure they would eat the wood. Then, they fed each woodchuck a 2x4 (yes) and watched how fast they ate it. All the woodchucks ate the wood, none actively attempted to toss it, and none upchucked. They could, apparently digest the wood pretty well, and consumed it at a rate of 361.9237001 cubic centimeteres per animals per day (no error bars, and the food deprivation was nuts, 12 days, leading me to think they didn't REALLY...). They note that, while none of the woodchucks attempted to throw the wood, they probably would have, had they been capable. So the next time someone asks you, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? You answer is clear! He'd chuck 361.9237001 cubic centrimeters of wood per day, which is the wood that a woodchuck COULD chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

david what a baghead

Guess what i just did. Master bait.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

whats good about poland... fukk all

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

... i forgot the joke :p

where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

Roses are flowers Violets are flowers