Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i dont like chris

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

thumb_up thumb_down +2

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who is it? Wood pecker. Wood pecker who? KNOCK! KNOCK!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

BIM slowly fucks old women in the dark so they think its rape then he slips his hand up there ass and rips out there heart

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops