Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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