- Anti Joke

Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

whats 69+2? 71

A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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