Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

The world ends and everyone dies exept for a laywer

I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

children burning

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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