What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

yes... that's the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Here's another:

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the black man call the white man a rasict? A:because he called him black.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man, a Jewish man, and an Indian man are all in the taxi when they were all killed in a car crash. Who was driving the car? The taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a black man that sells drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i dont like chris

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Autism speaks but not really

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +2

yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

thumb_up thumb_down

Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

thumb_up thumb_down

Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops