How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

My penis is big... not.

if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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