what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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