Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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Has u seen my grammar?

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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Loner.

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Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

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A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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