What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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An Artic Storm.

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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25

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

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Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

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what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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