What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does two plus two equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops