How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

Q. What was the the cancer's patients favorite song? A. Radioactive

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

Hillary Clinton

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

Come In!

one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...