Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

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What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

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What number is funnier than 23? 24.

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full house

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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