-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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What do you say to a black man with AIDS? I hope you get medical help and find a cure for your illness.

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

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what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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