how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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a man is running away

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops