Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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