My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Get in the car.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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i like cats

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Why Do Black Men Like Koolaid Because its red

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black people. that is all...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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