Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

thumb_up thumb_down -173

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +160

What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops