I'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

thumb_up thumb_down -35

So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +158

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down +134

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops