Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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How are you this morning?

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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