How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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America

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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