What's worse than having sex with a woman who has been dead for 10 minutes? Having sex with a woman who has been alive for 10 minutes.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

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Whats a buch of blacks running down a hill called? The Detroit, MI marathon in seeing that 84.3% of Detroit's population is of Arican descent.

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What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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4-4-2

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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knock knock whos there ben ben who ben ages since i seen you !!! vote this up please or a unicorn will die , unicorns are not real , but a moth can ride bikes so please vote this down

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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