Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There is something in my butt what is It. My thong

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your mom is so annoying that she has no freinds and lives alone crying every night about how her children abandoned her

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops