What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

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Women's rights

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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Thats sweet, thank you then.

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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