A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

thumb_up thumb_down -1

jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

just sit down and dont be a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:Why Did the Black people die in there car A: They were Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -3

QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops